Drowning Deep
by ry0kiku
Summary: They defeated Gyuumaou, restoring peace to the land, and become heroes. And yet...why couldn't they settle the conflict within themselves? Starting from Goku, the ikkou breaks up. AU. Co-op with Myurra-Kitty. Rated M for now.


~`;'~ Drowning Deep ~`;'~

"Goku, please reconsider," Hakkai pleaded.

It was a dark day, cold and pained. But for some reason, the rain just refused to fall. The sky was blackened either way, stained with grey and bleeding with a slight break of red and orange on the horizon, where the clouds just missed, allowing sharp beams of golden light through the glass pane of the window. That same golden light seemed to lose it's glow when it caught eyes of the same colour, the gleam vanishing and the clouds covering the last bit of free sky. Thunder crashed in the distance as the golden eyed male blinked with momentarily emotionless eyes towards his friends.

All watched hopelessly as Goku sorted things out from his closet, pulling out some traveling clothes and trousers, and threw the rest to the floor, not caring where they fell. "Do you really have to do this?"

"For the millionth time, Hakkai, I do." Goku spoke calmly, too calm for a high-spirited and cheerful monkey they have known for years. His golden eyes refused to meet Hakkai's emerald ones as he started packing his clothes into his rucksack, witnessed by three pairs of eyes, each held different emotion within. Hakkai was worried, Gojyo curious, and Sanzo… unreadable.

"But why?" Hakkai asked, his eyes started to lose hope as he saw very little possibility to sway the boy's determination. "Why so sudden?"

"Is it a chick, monkey?" Gojyo chipped in, exhaling nicotine from his lungs as he spoke. Hakkai shot him a don't-say-anything-to-make-this-worse look and Gojyo raised his hands in defeat. "Alright, alright. Well, 'Kai, basically our kid's grown up enough to make his own decision, you gotta admit that." He took another deep breath of his cigarette as Hakkai stared at him, rather surprised by the red-head's words.

"But still, monkey," Gojyo now addressed Goku, who had his back on him, "for making Hakkai worry and all, can we have the courtesy to even know why?"

Goku didn't respond for a brief time. He continued to pack his things, and it was when they heard the zipper sealed the rucksack did they hear the answer.

"Ask him." Goku hissed through gritted teeth.

Both Gojyo and Hakkai's head instantly snapped to the monk in question, who was standing by the door, silently watching all this mess. Though there was no major change in his cold expression, Hakkai could tell that Sanzo was at least a bit surprised.

"So, mighty monk, what did you do this time?" Gojyo asked, his tone was casual but Hakkai had known this man for years to know that Gojyo was suppressing anger. Though he might not show it properly, Gojyo deeply cared for Goku, and considered him as a valued younger brother. And Hakkai knew Gojyo wouldn't hesitate to confront anyone who hurt their youngest companion, physically or mentally, even if they didn't know that they had done it.

Sanzo, on the other hand, somehow maintained his cold mask as he inhaled his cigarette, closing his eyes. "Nothing." He answered.

"That's right, Nothing." Goku hissed in return, mainly towards Sanzo than to anyone else.

Gojyo and Hakkai's eyes snapped back to Goku upon hearing the sinister sneer. Goku had done packing and now had his stuffed rucksack on his back. His gold eyes blazed with somewhat solemn anger, but there were other emotions there that Hakkai couldn't perceive. What was that… Hurt? Betrayal?

His thoughts were once again interrupted as Goku walked past him, heading for the door. Heading for his freedom. Only to be caught on the arm by Sanzo.

"I'm leaving." Goku hissed, his eyes were casted downward as he tried to pull his arm away. Sanzo's hand held firm.

"Look into my eyes." Sanzo spoke, more or less demanding. If he thought he could find the reason behind Goku's odd behaviour with this action, then he was so wrong. Goku did stare up at his supposedly-guardian, but there was nothing but anger within his previously innocent golden orbs. Anger that even Sanzo had failed to explain.

All four of them stood there frozen in time, but not long after that Goku wrenched his arm away from Sanzo, not caring when he jerked the other man in the process. "I'm leaving." He repeated, his words were cold and emotionless.

Gojyo had risen from his seat; this was going too far from what he expected. "Wait, kid…"

"I'M NOT A KID ANYMORE!!" Goku yelled, eyes screwed shut, fists clenching. His left arm flung out to the side, slamming into the wall uncontrollably, though not breaking anything.

The angry outburst rendered everyone silent. Hakkai's hand found his chest, pressing slightly as he felt a pang in his heart. It was painful the see Goku behaved like this. He knew Goku was suffering, deep inside. But why didn't the boy breathe a word about it? He used to be their most innocent, most honest member. The Goku who was standing with his back on them, carrying the rucksack, ready to leave them… this was not the Goku he knew.

Without looking back, Goku made his way out from the temple. With no one dared to stop him this time. Before the door was slammed shut, Hakkai could swear he heard a faint whisper, "Sayonara."

As Goku's footsteps were no longer audible, Gojyo turned to face Sanzo, now not bothering to hide his furious expression.

"Seriously, monk, what did YOU do?"

--- ~`;'~ ---

_Why didn't he understand??_

Goku raced among the trees, the heavy rucksack on his back felt nothing more than a geese-feathered pillow. He continued to walk; in fact, half-running, through the forest, not caring about the sharp thorns and bristles scratching his arms and face, drawing thin lines of blood. Nor did he bother about the multiple branches of which caught around his clothing, tugging and fraying loopholes and loose ends.

_He… after all of this…_

The years they spent together, the journey of destiny. After all said and done, the relationship they've built for years seemed to crumble the same time the Houtou castle crumble in front of them, killing all their enemies and ended the conflict between human and youkai. That disaster had killed not only enemies though, Lirin had just started to become his friend and Yaone was like a distant mother. And although the youngest of the Sanzo-ikkou grieved for the loss of those people, he accepted that it was their fate and that it had ended the war. All four of them were now recognized as the heroes who ended the world conflict. And yet… why couldn't they settle the conflict between themselves?

_Even after doing that… why…_

He swept his eyes furiously, angry that they've betrayed him by letting out tears. Angry of his guardian. Angry of his friends. Angry of everything. And on top of all, angry of his own weakness.

_I'M NOT A KID!!!!_

Ironically, he was acting like one. This was a childish action; to run away from his problems. And yet, he couldn't bear to face it. Not when the other side was still acting that way. He was sure that in his friends' minds, he would forever be a kid. Especially to him.

_I can't… there's no way I could…_

A lake finally forced him to a halt. Upon resting himself under a tree did Goku realized his feet were sore and his arms were full of bloody scratches. He dipped a piece of cloth into the lake and used it to clean his wounds. As he did so, he recalled the time when the four of them were still traveling together, and he remembered when Hakkai taught him how to treat his injuries. He laid his head to the tree's back, and finally, he let out a sigh.

_I'm sorry, Hakkai…so sorry_

--- ~`;'~ ---

"Bullshit." Gojyo spat, his scarlet eyes fixed on Sanzo's violet ones, challenging him. "You said you forgot? What a lame reason." The half breed sneered.

"Well that lame reason just happens to be the truth, shitty kappa." Sanzo replied, keeping his collected expression firm.

"Like I'll believe you. That monkey's so damned mad that he upped and left! Even I wouldn't be able to piss him off to that point. YOU gotta be the reason." Gojyo argued, his eyes never leaving the monk's.

Though he was barely showing it, Sanzo was apparently at the edge of his patience. His mask slipped bit by bit, and they could now see those amethyst eyes clouded with emotion. "I'm not the reason that monkey fled away nor I suggested him to do so. That idiot's chosen to leave, and so be it."

"He even said himself that it was you!" Gojyo yelled.

"He just needed and excuse. He's being a coward."

A second before Gojyo could open his mouth for a harsh retort, Hakkai's hand was quicker to meet its target. His palm connected with Sanzo's cheek, hard. The monk staggered for a bit, shock was clear on his face as he touched his reddened cheek, before staring at his attacker. Hakkai stood before him, his face showed no change expression as he lowered his hand slowly. Blood-lusty glare swirling within those usually gentle eyes of his, reminding Sanzo of the man's past identity of a murderer.

Even Gojyo was too shocked to say anything.

Then without any other words, Hakkai made his way to the door and not-so-gently slammed it shut, leaving Sanzo and Gojyo in the room. After a few moments, Gojyo stood up as well, throwing the monk another disgusted look as he spoke.

"See, now you pissed him off as well. Well, good luck." Gojyo spat, before taking off out the door after Hakkai.

Sanzo took a large breath, massaging his temple. Boy, did he fuck up. Now his cheekbone hurt like hell, Goku had run away and probably wouldn't come back, and both Hakkai and Gojyo were pissed at him. Boy was it not the best way to start his day. And he didn't even know what he did to begin with…Goku had claimed he had been drunk that night, he didn't even remember drinking!

Another crash of lightening, and the whip of water pelting against glass gave Sanzo all the information he needed to know. It was raining.

_Certainly not the way to start my day…_

--- ~`;'~ ---

Gojyo looked around for his dark-haired friend, finding no such male in sight. He continued down the corridor, out the temple entrance to find Hakkai right beside the doorway, leaning back against the stone wall. Gojyo pulled two cigarettes from his packet, offering one to the pained man beside him.

Hakkai plainly refused. "No thank you Gojyo, I am fine…" he lied. Thunder crashed and rain slapped against the ground so suddenly that both jumped slightly. "…on second thoughts…" Hakkai said dimly.

Gojyo smirked, watching as Hakkai's delicate and slightly red fingers; bruised from the contact they had recently made with a certain shitty monk's cheek, plucked a cigarette from his hand, gracefully placing it between his lips as he gratefully took the lighter, successfully lighting it despite the wind.

"Goku's still out there." Hakkai said after a few long moments. Gojyo nodded.

"Our monkey has survival instincts you know, he's smart enough to take care of himself."

Hakkai seemed to ponder this for a while, before stubbing the cigarette and moving to place his hands on the railing of the veranda. Gojyo simply watched as the healer had an internal battle with himself.

"We should look for him." Hakkai resolved, his tone suggesting he had put a lot of thought into it and still come up with the same answer no matter how many times he tried not to.

Gojyo sighed, flicking the remainder of his own cigarette out into the rain, a passing monk, previously flustered from the sudden downpour, turned to both the men though mostly Gojyo, glaring at him for discarding of his cigarette that way as he grabbed a bunch of agriculture tools he kept dropping, racing off and disappearing through the mist that sprayed up from the force of the rain.

Coming closer, Gojyo's hand settled to rest on the edgy healer's shoulder, trying to convince him to listen. "Look Hakkai, I know how much Goku meant to you, he meant it to me as well…"

"Gojyo, please."

"… no Hakkai, listen. Goku can take care of himself. He will be nineteen in a few months, certainly old enough to survive on his own. Besides, he's survived all these years with Sanzo, that has to count for something right?"

Gojyo knew he said the wrong thing by mentioning Sanzo, as emerald eyes hardened, narrowing in despise for a brief moment. He shouldn't have mentioned the monk, but it was said and done, he just hoped he could compensate.

"Hakkai, basically I am trying to say that Goku doesn't need to be mothered. We will probably meet up with him again one day, but right now I doubt he wants to be found. Lets just leave him be; we can handle hanging around here for a week or so to see if he shows up and if he doesn't we can move back into our old home alright? That way you don't have to deal with the prissy blonde bitch inside for much longer."

"Thank you, Gojyo." Hakkai murmured. He was still looking out into the rain, but Gojyo knew Hakkai was being his usual worrying self. Goku has no idea what he's in for next time they meet. Making Hakkai worry like this…

Hakkai turned to face the red-head who had been behind him, casting a small soft smile before gesturing with his head to go back inside. Gojyo nodded, leading the way into the kitchen. Unfortunately they found Sanzo there, standing and staring into the kitchen like he would if Goku was raiding it. His brows furrowed and eyes agitated.

If that monk was really the reason for Goku's sudden 'departure' then they were in for a hell of a ride if the kid came back. And even if he didn't, Sanzo would be a walking hell that lived and breathed.

Gojyo shoved past Sanzo, waking the monk from his stupor. For once he didn't argue back and simply turned to leave. His eyes met Hakkai's when he got to the exit, though only briefly. Sanzo could have sworn Hakkai looked as though he was ready to kill him any moment now. Hardly much more of a push was needed, but Sanzo was willing to try.

"Ladies first," Sanzo hissed, stepping to the side to allow the healer past. Hakkai's eyes narrowed.

"Watch it Sanzo." Gojyo murmured a warning from over near the counter's sink, before noisily sculling a glass of milk. Sanzo's violet eyes shifted to him momentarily, before turning back to Hakkai.

Hakkai didn't move, his eyes glued to what seemed his new target. Sanzo didn't move either, though he looked startled when Hakkai's hand raised to his ear cuffs. A breath of relief escaped from his mouth when the healer simply tucked strands of hair behind his ear. Sanzo watched him wearily though; still not trusting him.

Gojyo watched the whole thing with amusement. He wondered what Hakkai would do, these were the times that Gojyo just stood back and watched. It was rare to see Hakkai and Sanzo fighting, but when they did things got good - especially on the violent side - but with Hakkai's current state he was also worried. This time the fight was about something serious, the monkey brat who had ran away.

--- ~`;'~ ---

Goku shivered, the rain giving him a slight chill. He rubbed his burning eyes, red raw from the tears he had shed moments earlier. He despised himself at the moment, breaking down like that. He had no idea what he was doing here. He wanted to be back there in someone's arms - Gojyo…Hakkai…Sanzo - it didn't matter. He just wanted warmth and comfort.

"I'm so pathetic." he hissed to himself. The rain eased up slightly, the area though darker than it had been when he started due to time passing, became slightly lighter as cloud-cover thinned.

_I can't believe I did that … all of it… with Sanzo I was just shocked and hurt, but leaving them, well Hakkai and Gojyo, well…Hakkai…I can't believe I did that._

Goku sighed, pressing himself further back against the cave despite the sting of gravel in the scratches. He was starting to get a real good view of how his life was going to be from now on.

"At least things can't get that much worse from here on." he whispered to himself, a small smile on his face at that thought. He curled into himself more, laying on his side against the dirt ground, pulling his rucksack beneath his head and tugging at his sweater he had put on while he had been running just that bit more tighter around him.

_Maybe I should go back, it's warm there and Sanzo always let me get close to him when it was cold…no…_

"I won't go back. I never want to see him again!" he continued to berate himself for that thought. "I can't believe I considered going back…back to him. No more, no more being so indecisive and naïve. Like Sanzo said…it's time to grow up…"

Goku felt tears sting at his eyes once again, there was nothing he could do to stop them this time. They welled up, pressing him to allow them to fall. He gave up, squeezing his eyes shut; noting the feel of his tears as they rolled down his fevered face, feeling as though they were burning trails into his skin.

"No more…never again will…I will never chance it again…I can't…" he drabbled, words broken apart by painfully dry sobs. His throat stung and his eyes burned, but all he wanted was for was sleep - warmth no longer mattered.

--- ~`;'~ ---

Hakkai's hand moved faster than Sanzo had seen, landing a good solid punch to his face in the process. Sanzo fell back against the wall, releasing Hakkai's other hand he had grasped. His gun dropped to the floor with a clang, sliding over to Hakkai who placed his foot over it.

Gojyo stood wide eyed. All he had remembered before that was Hakkai shoving Sanzo out of his way and Sanzo grabbing the healer's wrist before pulling his gun. He was still stunned that Hakkai could land such a punch.

"Pathetic." Sanzo sneered, chuckling lightly at the growl that rumbled from Hakkai's throat. Sanzo took another step foreword.

Hakkai felt a burning desire to hurt Sanzo, so strong it felt like one he hadn't felt for a long time. He didn't believe that there had been a time since Kanan that he had felt this needy to see death. He didn't dare deny the basic beast inside - the Youkai - it was right there, controlling his mind. Why did she deserve to die? He had known of this creature that was locked up inside. Right now, it was trying to escape.

Hakkai's hand flew to the side, fingers curling around the backboard of a chair, flinging it towards his opponent. Sanzo ducked; trying to avoid it. His second gun was in his hand, aiming at where Hakkai was standing.

Hakkai, already a few steps ahead of the predictable Sanzo, had ducked before Sanzo had, hand swiping the gun from under his foot, forefinger flicking the safety trigger.

Sanzo froze when he heard the recognisable click of his other hand-gun, his own ceasing fire. His eyes gazed over to Gojyo who was frozen, eyes bugged out. He couldn't see Hakkai anywhere.

Gojyo was practically ice on the spot, as soon as the chair was flung he was ready to intervene; but then gunshots were fired. If he was hit with a bullet from that gun he was dead - he was half demon after all.

Cold metal pressed against Sanzo's cheek, a light chuckle through the air. How had Hakkai gotten behind him. He dared to turn his head, ready to give a colourful lecture about getting in his way and how the healer was officially a dead man. As soon as he met Hakkai's eyes; he seen Goku in his mind.

Goku wouldn't be too proud or accepting should he find out any of this. The boy definitely didn't want them fighting over who's fault it was as to why he left now did he? He had done just that…left. Goku was no longer a part in any of their lives.

Hakkai had to accept that.

Sanzo's hand carefully touched the gun, which Hakkai simply threw to the other corner of the room anyway. Once again it hit the ground with a clang, sliding along a bit further. He seen in Hakkai's eyes something he had never wanted to see there. Disappointment.

"Goku left because of something you done. If you can't remember it's because he doesn't want you to. Probably because if you did, he knows you would come for him." Hakkai reasoned. Sanzo's eyebrows furrowed. How many people were going to say it was his fault today?!

"Hakkai let me get one thing straight…it's not my fault and nor is it my problem." Hakkai snorted.

"fine. Leave it at that. But if I ever see you again, I won't throw the gun away." he said quietly, smiling.

"Hakkai?" Gojyo said quietly, taking a tentative step closer now that the brawl was over.

"Gojyo, grab your things, we're leaving." he said surely. Gojyo, seeing the smile on Hakkai's face knew that he shouldn't say anything. He simply nodded, rushing himself out of the kitchen.

--- ~`;'~ ---

It had been days since Goku had ran away, Hakkai and Gojyo moved out and Sanzo officially became the most unbearable person he had ever been. He moved about like he was half-dead, refused to say anything and ate less than he already did. The other monks were starting to worry but were too scared to say anything.

Sanzo finally had to admit to himself just how much he had lost. The only person he had a chance of seeing again was Gojyo, who only left because Hakkai scared the shit out of him enough to make him stay quiet and go along with it.

Hakkai, now he was a different story. He respected the man a lot, they almost always got along and the other was always so quiet; never getting in his way and never having to be threatened. He always took care of Goku…

_…Goku…_

_Goku…I'm…I'm sorry Goku…please come back…if you can hear me; come back…_

--- ~`;'~ ---

Goku woke with pleasant and comfortable warmth surrounding him, an exact opposite of what he felt before blacking out. He snuggled into whatever warm material engulfing him, keeping his eyes shut with pure intentions to prolong the comfy moment. It was only when he heard faint shouts that seemingly came from one story below him accompanied with the sound of glass breaking did he finally open his eyes. The first thing that came to his view was an old-fashioned oil-fueled lamp hanging upon the wooden ceiling. The room was made of wood as well, and aside from the small bed he occupied, only a small table, a cupboard with one door hanging loose, and a ragged curtain barely concealing a dusty window adorned the relatively small room. Wait… room?

Goku pushed himself into sitting position as realization hit him. Since when did he get himself to a room? His last memory was he was inside a cave, sheltering from the rain…then nothing. He reckoned he might have passed out due to the cold, or exhausted from struggling with himself. Though the second option was the lamest excuse he had to admit. But in any case…who brought him here?

Goku's didn't get a chance to think about it any further as his highly sensitive ears caught the screeching sound of the door dragged on the cracked wooden floor.

"Oh, you're awake?"

Goku turned his head and met eyes with a girl, probably a few years older than him, with shoulder-length dark brown hair and greenish eyes. She stood by the door, wearing a white apron atop her simple shirt and trousers. At the first glance, Goku couldn't help but think this girl looked like a female version of Hakkai. As she came closer, he seen that her eyes were actually grey with gold flecks over them, strange but not something to worry about.

"Quite a long nap you've taken there." Again, she interrupted his trail of thoughts as she strode into the room, then not-so-lady-like pulled the ragged curtains to open, allowing the sun light make its way into the room through the stained window glass.

Goku winced as the sudden assault of brightness hit his face directly in the eyes. As he blinked his eyes a few times in an attempt to adjust them with the light, he could feel the shirt rustle and the added weight signaling the girl was sitting at the other side of his bed.

"So, how are you feeling?" She asked, her tone was a mixture of casual and curious. Instead of answering, Goku asked back.

"What am I doing here?"

The girl raised an eyebrow in clear annoyance. "Answering a question with question isn't very polite, you know. Yet on second thought…guess it can't be helped." She sighed and shifted to a more comfortable position before she continued, "My father found you inside a cave, unconscious and almost frozen, or so he said. And being a troublesome person he is, he took the courtesy to pick you up. You were out for almost two days, and your fever just broke this morning." She practically explained everything in one single breath.

Goku stared at her, speechless at first. When he finally found his voice again, he whispered. "Thank you, I guess?" He managed a weak smile.

The girl snorted and stood up, glaring at the boy all of a sudden. "Too early for thank you, young man. If you think you could stay here for granted, then you're so very wrong. The moment you're feeling good enough, you'll have to work for us to cover your living here, plus extra cash for taking care of you in these past two days. We owned a small bar below here." She waved her hand impatiently as Goku's eyes widened and he opened his mouth ready to respond, "I said no buts. And you better get your clothes from the laundry before you get started. We don't really have spare men's clothes apart from my father's, which will no doubt be oversized for you. And so we have no choice but…"

Before the girl had even finished, Goku instinctively pulled the sheet off him out of alarm. As the sudden blast of cold air hit his exposed underneath, his face turned like a rotten tomato. And to make things worse, the girl was still staring at him.

"AAAAH!! PUT THE COVERS ON, IDIOT!!!"

--- ~`;'~ ---

Hakkai glanced at the clock, which had ticked its way to almost 12 AM. It had been hours since he cooked the dinner, and he now had to cover them with aluminum foil to preserve them. And still, there's no sign of the one he was waiting for.

_He's late…_

Hakkai mused as he sipped on his tea, occasionally taking glances to the clock. He couldn't help but feel like not only was he wasting his time but he was going to get his feelings hurt if he was still awake when Gojyo came home.

He had finally admitted to himself that he did indeed have feelings for his friend, but they were continuously trampled on by Gojyo's habits of getting girls. He had already confronted Gojyo about this, saying he didn't appreciate it. Gojyo had sworn on his life that he wouldn't do it again without some warning first so as to not inconvenience Hakkai.

As the clock-hands had eventually passed 2 AM, he decided to give up and started to pick up the plates. He couldn't help feel slightly sour. He hadn't even touched his own dinner because he had been waiting for the red-head's return.

_Maybe he… no, I have to believe in him…_

Just as he picked the soup bowl, the door slammed open revealing Gojyo staggering inside, seemingly half-drunk, with his right arm wrapped tightly around a barely-clothed blonde and the other draped sluggishly on a hot brunet. He raised his head and stared at Hakkai with heavy lidded eyes.

"Ah… 'Kai. Mmm sorry to keep ya waitin'. M'home… n m'bringin' chicks in… wanna taste some?"

Hakkai stared back at the red head, his jaw clenched, his expression was stern for a brief second. "Welcome home." He replied, his voice was barely above a hiss. He was fed up with this. He stood with the plates on his hands, and made his way to the kitchen. As he put the cold food into the refrigerator and washed the dirty cooking utensils, he pretended he couldn't hear noises coming from Gojyo's bedroom. Disturbing noises, in fact. He couldn't even stomach making his own tea.

_It's no use…_

--- ~`;'~ ---

"Young man, get me the strongest one here."

The woman grunted, her upper body draped over an oval table as she waved sluggishly for the waiter. She looked both exhausted and excited at the same time. In less than a minute, Goku came bringing her request, bowing slightly as he tried to put the wine and the glass onto the table. It was not an easy task remembering the woman's body took most part of the table. He approached the table, trying to place the bottle on the small space between her head and flailing arm. Then without warning, she grabbed his arm and pulled him close, not caring when they knocked the wine bottle in the process.

"Up close, you look pretty. Mmh I'm almost jealous." She whispered, taking his face in her hand. Goku could feel the unpleasant odour from her mouth filling his nostrils. He winced.

"Let me go, Madam. Please…"

"Don't do this to me, young man." The woman whined, bringing his face nose to nose with her now. "Not even my men tonight were as gorgeous as you are. You and I will make a great night together…"

Then Goku jerked his arm, not very harshly but it was enough to startle the woman. She let out a shriek and glared at him dejectedly.

"I'm sorry, Madam, I cannot comply on your request." Goku spoke solemnly, his golden eyes blazed in the dim light. "I have work to do. Excuse me." Then he turned and walked away, straightening his clothes casually as if nothing had happened.

Behind him, he could still hear the woman swear. He smirked to himself, pleased that he still hadn't given in to such a thing. It wasn't the first time a woman like that had come in and harassed him.

--- ~`;'~ ---

"That's not a good way to treat customers, you know." The girl whom he stayed with scolded as Goku entered the kitchen, carrying empty cups and bottles and put them into the sink.

Goku sighed as he leaned against the counter facing her. "Look Midori, I have no choice; she asked for it. Besides I didn't really do anything, did I? I really have work to do."

Midori chuckled as she put her hand on her forehead. "Oh you're hopeless… Alright, you may escape me this time, Goku, because I have to agree that the woman is a bit too much." She put her hands on her hips and suddenly went back to serious mode.

"Now you get back to work. If my father finds you lazing our ass around here he might just kick you out. And believe me, I'll be laughing my ass off when it happens."

"Got it." Goku grinned as he straightened his clothes and headed for the door. He put one hand on the knob before turning and spoke. "By the way, please don't have me handle that woman anymore. Let's see what will happen if you serve her instead."

--- ~`;'~ ---

"Hakkai! Open the door, dammit!" Gojyo banged the door with his fist as hard as he could, not caring when his hand stung and reddened. No answer behind the locked room, but he could still hear rustling sound inside. Someone was packing. Desperate, he banged the wooden door with all his strength.

"Hakkai! You can't be serious! Answer me! Hak…!"

The door slammed open all of a sudden. Gojyo froze as he realized his hand was no longer banging the door, but Cho Hakkai's face. He lowered his fist that was collided with Hakkai's cheek just a second ago, a shiver riding up his spine.

"I'm sorry Hakkai! I didn't mean to…"

"I know." Hakkai cut off, touching his bruised cheek with his right hand, while on his left hand a trunk was ready. Gojyo's scarlet eyes fixed with the trunk, then moved to Hakkai's emerald eyes.

"No, you can't be… you wouldn't mean to…"

"Unfortunately, I mean it, Gojyo." Hakkai responded, dragging the trunk with him as he headed for the front door. "I have been too much of a nuisance for you, Gojyo. Too much until I can't stand it."

"Look, Hakkai," Gojyo spoke desperately, "If it's about the girls, I promise I won't ever again…"

"You can't refrain yourself from doing that, Gojyo, you have already proven that fact. And you can't change what I am about to do, for I have made up my mind." Hakkai replied calmly as he bowed down to wear his boots. As he straightened himself again and faced his roommate for years in the eyes, he smiled and spoke.

"Thanks for everything, Gojyo."

With that, he closed the door, signaling what he was sure as a forever farewell. Behind the door, Gojyo leaned against the wall, covering his face with his hand.

"Maaan this sucks. Now I know what that monk feels…" Gojyo muttered.

--- ~`;'~ ---

Goku knew from the very beginning, that bar wasn't really his place. The music and the flashy lamps weren't suited him at all. The lights made him dizzy and the music was killing his highly sensitive ears. Not to mention the smell of alcohol, cigarettes, mixed with the foul odor of someone's vomit and—yes, he could swear he smelled some—the smell of sex, they all disgusted him. But if this was the only place for him right now…then it didn't matter. He could always wash himself, retreating to silence where no one would bother him after all of this over.

_I wonder what'll they think if they see me in this sort of place. Especially Gojyo. They always think of me as a kid… I feel bad for Hakkai though, he was my teacher after all…_

Shrugging of the thought, Goku made his way past two lovers kissing like mad and saw a man sitting alone in the corner, his cigarette burnt almost halfway in his fingers. He seemed to be in a trance or something. Goku approached him, offering a bottle and a cup.

"Liquor, sir?" He asked politely, the way a waiter should.

The man lifted his head, his eyes were half closed and they looked half-dead. Mumbling some incoherent words, he took the cup, and Goku poured the wine for him. As the man drank up his wine, Goku turned to leave but the man grabbed his arm.

"More," he grunted, pulling on Goku's sleeve like mad. Goku sighed and poured more wine. Again the man drank it up and asked for more, over and over again. As the bottle he carried was finally empty, Goku bowed and spoke. "I'm sorry sir, we're running out wine. I'll go and get some…"

But again, the man grabbed his arm, this time with full force until Goku fell onto the table, almost knocking it over. His surprise hadn't even ceased as the man suddenly grabbed his collar and breathed on his neck. "I know you."

Goku could feel shiver riding up his neck.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He whispered, silently cursing himself as he realized his voice trembling.

This time, the man grabbed his shoulders and glared at him right in the eyes.

"Hell yeah I do. I will never forget those eyes. Those cursed eyes…" His dirty and long finger was now pointed at Goku's gleamed golden eyes.

"You're him. The one who went berserk in my town a couple of months ago, and almost killed my children and wife. You're a _youkai_."

--- ~`;'~ ---

Goku's felt himself land on the ground with a thud, his stomach felt bruised and his clothes were now stained with mud as it splattered across him. The rain was once again falling around him, only this time he wasn't running, he was being kicked out.

Looking up at the stocky man in the doorway, he could see him looming closer. He felt his eyes clamp shut as the man approached. He readied himself for a beating. A hefty foot connected with his stomach and ribs again and again.

Goku could feel himself choke slightly on the blood that ran back up his throat. He could have taken the father of his newest friend out easily, but it wouldn't have been fair to her and would have proven him to be something he was not.

"Father! No stop! Please!" came Midori's voice. Goku opened an eye to see her clinging to him, trying her best to pull him back. The back of his hand met with her face, and she stumbled backwards.

"Demon filth!" he cursed, continuing his assault on Goku, who was hesitant to defend himself. Once again Midori flung herself at her father, grasping his large arm in an attempt to yank him back.

"Father, please no!" she begged. He froze for a moment, before huffing and shoving past his daughter. As soon as he entered through the back door to the tavern, he returned with Goku's rucksack, tossing it onto the ground beside him.

The young woman stood there, staring at the patterns the rain droplets were making in the mud. Her skin was pale, her eyes unblinking and her emotionless expression unchanging. She fell to her knees beside Goku, still not meeting his eyes.

Her hand raised, touching her cheek where she had been struck down in anger by her father. She startled when Goku touched her knee, pulling himself in front of her. His body blocked the light coming from the street lamp, only the moon behind her illuminating her shape. She was beautiful, and she was hurt and scared.

She reminded him so much of Hakkai.

Goku felt himself tense as he eyed the bruise on her cheek as he came to that thought. He looked down, staring at the ground as the memories came back to him. She looked directly towards him, bringing a hand beneath his chin to raise his head.

"I shouldn't have left. None of this would have happened if I stayed." Goku spoke to himself. Midori stared at him in disbelief, before finally smiling sadly. She knew about Goku's troubles.

"That's not true. If you hadn't have left, something else may have happened and it could have been worse. You never know would have happened by doing something else. Forget about it and move on." she said softly, encouraging him.

"I thought you said you would be laughing your ass off when I was kicked out." he said, slightly amused at the statement. He didn't notice her cringe. She looked towards him, knowing why she didn't give that reaction. She decided to show him why.

"Goku, my real name is Reiryuu." Midori said softly, smiling down at him. He looked up, mouthing the word as though testing it. She leant closer. "What is yours?" she asked. He felt his eyes widen slightly.

"I don't understand." he spoke softly, blinking. Midori smiled, raising her long hair on one side above her ear. A golden hook shaped ornament was clipped around it against her skin, at the front where it was visible, it went into a small orb-shape that fitted soundly into her ear. It looked kind of like a hearing-aid; a modern technology.

"Reiryuu, my name is Reiryuu." she repeated. Without knowing it, he answered the unspoken question.

"Seiten Taisei." he whispered. Suddenly he understood, the golden flecks over her eyes. She leant foreword, pressing her lips to his in a chaste kiss. His eyes widened as she pulled back, why did it feel so wrong and strange? It wasn't what he wanted, but it felt strange because a sort of current had passed through her and into him.

Without saying anything more, she stood and went straight to the back door. Opening it, she slipped inside and it slammed behind her. He closed his eyes, thinking to himself about the situation.

"Goku?" came a soft voice behind him. "Is that you?" he knew that voice. He would know that voice anywhere.

"Hakkai?"

--- ~`;'~ ---

~`;'~

_There's a shadow just behind me_

_Trying every step I take_

_Making every promise empty_

_Pointing every finger at me_

_Waiting like a stalking blackbird_

_Who upon the finger rests_

_Murdered, now the path is empty_

_Just because the sun's behind me_

_Why can't we not be sober_

_Just want to start this over_

_Why can't we drink forever_

_Just want to start this over_

_~`;'~_

_I am just a worthless liar_

_I am just an imbecile_

_I will only complicate you_

_Trust in me and fall as well_

_I will find the centre in you_

_I will chew it up and leave_

_I will find words to elevate you_

_Then more than enough to bring you down_

_Why can't we not be sober_

_Just want to start this over_

_Why can't we sleep forever_

_I Just want to start this over again_

~`;'~

--- ~`;'~ ---

TBC - R&R

--- ~`;'~ ---

**A/Ns:**

**Ry0kiku: Well... I actually planned to post this on Monday.. I can't believe I totally forgot! Stupid exams... T.T Anyway here's the first chapter of our first co-op. Let's hope this will go well... Oh and before I forgot, credit goes to Myurra-Kitty for her lovely poem! ^^  
**

**Myurra-Kitty: *phew* finally, the long awaited chapter 1 of Drowning Deep ^^. I think it's going quite well, don't you agree Kiku? Anyway, this is an AU fic and there will be battle violence etc etc… I hope you enjoy it, and please leave a nice review ^^.**


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